2c: Mabellyne Meeting

[Scene: a tastefully decorated private restaurant room with soft lighting. In the middle there is a table with six chairs. TSINTA sits cross-legged, meditating, in a corner. GLADYS sits at the table contentedly reading a book. MABELLYNE, RA FAL, and SOFONISBA sit awkwardly and silently at the table, sizing each other up. Enter MARY. She is bouncy and cheerful. As soon as she arrives, TSINTA rises and takes a seat at the table.]

Mary [curtsies]: Good morning everyone! I am truly sorry that I am late because my family was going on and on about what I should be doing and how I should talk and present myself but I am not going to do any of that because it is really obvious that I would not be able to fool you all into thinking that I am a real adventurer. I really do not care about winning or taking charge or being Martin's wife and all I want is to have a great adventure in space and be free before I have to go back to my idiot family in that stupid stuffy palace and I promise you all that I will do my best to be a really good crew member!

[Tension drains out of the room as the other women smile warmly at her. GLADYS gets up, bounces over to Mary, and, in a gesture that is obviously new to her, gives Mary a handshake by pumping Mary's left arm wildly up and down with both hands.]

Gladys: I am so happy to meet you. It is always nice to find people who just love having a good time and are not so high and mighty about everything.

[MARY smiles awkwardly at the others, who nod regally at her. GLADYS does not notice as she goes back to her book. MARY takes a seat at the table. RA FAL and SOFONISBA begin to speak at the same time, but Ra fal's loud voice is overpowering and Sofonisba stops talking.]

Sofonisba: Well met to all of...

Ra Fal: Now that we are all here, we can begin the formal introductions. I am Ra fal, river captain, merchant adventurer, scourge of the Felmarsh, sunderer of trolls, liberator of Torreón, decorated for valor by both Enrique Olmos and Kajay Kolwa. [starts pointing at the others, in order] Sitting to my left we have Gladys, then Tsinta, then Sofofonisba, then Mabellyne, then Mary. Gladys?

Gladys [pauses, temporarily unsure what to do, then realizes she is being asked to speak]: Oh, hi, um, I am Gladys Joyjuice, berserker, alchemist, and botanist. Um, one time I killed a Behir by coating my armor in a purgative, letting it swallow me, and then pulling out a pair of short swords to bisect its throat as it horked me back up. That was pretty cool.

[RA FAL grins happily. MARY, SOFONISBA, MABELLYNE politely try to hide feelings of queasiness and disgust. TSINTA nods approvingly at Gladys.]

Tsinta: Accept an attack, turn it, use it, make it yours: sign of great warrior.

[There is a pause. GLADYS smiles nervously but says nothing. Attention focuses on Tsinta.]

Tsinta: Tsinta: of forest. Eyes and voice of woods and fae. And sometimes their teeth.

[TSINTA gestures gracefully to Sofonisba to show that she is finished.]

Sofonisba: Sofonisba Anguissola, arcane archer, sage, and scholar.

Gladys: There haven't been any real Arcane Archers since the third age of the world; she's probably an Eldritch Knight.

[Tense silence. RA FAL, SOFONISBA, and MABELLYNE size each other up to see who will take the initiative to respond. GLADYS slowly starts to realize that something is wrong.]

Mabellyne [softly, gently]: Remember the seventy-eighth.

Gladys [Gasps and covers her nose with her hands]: Oh my god, oh my god, I am so sorry! I never meant to question your lived experience or invalidate your self-identification! I just wanted to, um, well, I mean...

Sofonisba [nods gently]: I accept your apology and forgive you completely. I understand that you meant no insult, and desired only to refactor an analytical descriptor for those with a different perceptual framework.

[The tension in the room disappears, although MARY looks confused. RA FAL nods sagely to cover the fact that initiative has been taken from her and she does not fully understand the exchange.]

Mabellyne: I am Mabellyne Geargadget, artificer and spelljammer engineer.

Mary: Mary Hanover, princess of Mecklenberg.

Ra fal: Now, the first order of business is...

[MABELLYNE raises a finger]

Ra fal: Yes?

Mabellyne: The zeroth order of business is establishing common knowledge.

Sofonisba: I concur.

Galdys: What she said.

Ra Fal [warily]: Continue.

Mabellyne: I am sure you have all figured this out by now, but we need to make sure it is common knowledge. We are clearly being tested. It is almost certain that one of the main things we are being tested for is our ability to cooperate. We do not know what else, if anything, we are being tested for.

Allowing anyone to become injured or killed will definitely result in Martin rejecting you. Sabotaging anyone else to make them look bad will also result in you being disqualified. We all know that, and will be monitoring each other for behavior that would disqualify someone. Given that it would be almost impossible to fool everyone, the optimal strategy is to cooperate, be good crew members, and then see who randomly gets chosen at the end.

Ra fal: What if something happens and it is just two people pointing fingers at each other and nobody else knows the truth?

Mabellyne: Then the rest of us have an incentive to investigate and find the truth, both to protect ourselves and reveal it to Martin.

Ra fal: What if it turns into two groups of three, each fighting and blaming the other?

Mabellyne: We are all writing private reports at the end of the mission. Pointing out the errors or sins of people in your group will give you an advantage, and then Martin will know the truth. Because we know that, any collusion is doomed.

[silence as everyone thinks]

Mary: About the common knowledge thing?

Mabellyne: Yes?

Mary: I'm not sure exactly how this works, but I think I should add something. I have already revealed that I am not interested in Martin, and that I am not a real adventurer, so that means I am not qualified to be chosen as his wife. All of you could report that. So I am not a threat to anyone and will never win, meaning that my only goal is to have a good time and come back alive. That only happens if we all get along, which means all I care about is helping us all get along. I guess that makes me an impartial friend, someone you can all trust? And maybe me doing that helps everyone cooperate?

Ra fal: What if you decide to play favorites, to be queenmaker, to try to get special favors?

Mary: I know that would be a disaster. If I start playing favorites or politics, I might die. So I won't. If any of you think I am starting to, please call me out on it and ask me to stop.

Gladys: Having Mary be a noncompetitor is a huge help, it reduces the strategy tree significantly and should increase the likelihood of a cooperative equilibrium. However, by the seventh theorem of...

Ra fal [growls]: Enough.

[Everyone looks at Ra fal.]

Ra fal: I do not trust this logic.

[MARY, GLADYS, and MABELLYNE look nervous. The elves' expressions grow stony and distant.]

Ra fal: However, I trust you.

[Everyone looks relieved.]

Ra fal: I have looked into your teeth and seen that you are all good people. I declare as common knowledge that I am an excellent judge of character, and that I know that none of you will choose to harm or sabotage a woman that you have sworn an oath of friendship with. So now, we can stop appealing to base self-interest and start treating each other as the honorable women we are.

I very much want to be chosen to marry Martin. He, of all men I have heard of, is the only one who is qualified to be my husband, to join my story. But he is not the core of my story. I am a woman who honors my contracts, takes care of my crew, and wants to see all good people achieve their dreams. I want to be remembered for that, and I will never sacrifice that legacy for any man or treasure. You have my solemn vow, upon my honor as an officer and a businesswoman, that I will never break my word or betray any member of my crew.

Now, can we have your vows?

Gladys [bored recitation]: I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not cause intraparty conflict.

Tsinta: We are bound by fate. Together we do great things. I shall not harm this.

Sofonisba: This I swear, by fair Corellon: Never shall I cheat or harm you.

Mabellyne: May the great goddess Ioun strike me feebleminded if I harm or betray any of you.

Mary: I swear by my love of life and beauty and wild things that I will be honest and true to all of you, a good friend and a good crew member.

Next (Gladys)
Next Mabellyne