1d: Gladys Intro

Hypercube Universe, Prime Material Plane, Meiguo Continent, Gray Ridge Region, Cerraitopolis, Goblin District, 12 Alchemy Lane, Apt 6

47 Autumn, Year 684, Fifth Age

Wake up. Energy level :-(

coffee + pills = breakfast. Per routine, slug down morning regimen of nootropics and strong goblin coffee with 40 ccs of butter.

Energy level now :-)

Take vital signs and jot in log book: waist and wrist circumference, pulse, respiration, left nostril dilation. Calculate 30-day moving averages and total factor score.

Doctor: "Everything continues to trend toward ideal mountain-dwarf physique."

Joy: "Life is good! Living proof of the potential of transgoblinism."

Logic: "Survivor Bias."

Doctor: "What worked for this body will, with enough study, work for everyone."

Logic: "Optimism Bias."

Ego: "Settle down. Although benefit from acknowledging and listening to many brain processes, need to get moving and get things done."

Dress. Civvies, not combat gear, but still packing easily-quaffable rage juice and a handaxe. And wearing broomer leathers. Because $#!7 happens.

Slow day; not much planned. Lab work mainly; Finish some brews. Funds running low, so start asking around for jobs.

First, Go to post office. Check mail.

You've got mail!

Fancy mail.

Envelope smells of wealth and status. Literally. Nice smooth rich thick white paper, recently produced. Bleached with alkaline hydrogen peroxide, magnesium salts, and sodium silicate. Pattern printed in it to prevent you from reading anything through the envelope. Sealed with the official League seal. Tamperproof wax with that special scent nobody has been able to duplicate.

Rip open. Read.

"Gladys Joyjuice,

You, along with the other people listed at the bottom of this letter, have been specially chosen for a mission for the Gray Ridge League..."

Adventurer: "Awesome!"

Logic: "Why? How have come to attention of League? Have done no missions for them, have no special fame."

Skip past legalese, mission description, conditions, reward, go directly to last paragraph:

"If interested, immediately contact the other people chosen for the mission, organize yourselves into an adventuring company, acquire transportation, and undertake the mission immediately."

Look at names.

Logic: "Puzzling. What do these names have in common?"

Anthropologist: "Names: human, wood elf, goblin noble, me, orc, high elf. No commonality there."

Adventurer: "Recognize the orc, Ra fal. She is realm-hero tier. Nobody else is. Know the high elf, Sofonisba, is the one who always takes books as her share of the loot. Never heard of the rest."

Socialite: "Wait, think know! Have heard all these names being gossipped about! These are people who have offered their hands in marriage to Martin Cooper!"

Joy:  "Martin Cooper is interested in marriage!!!1!! And he is choosing an adventuring wife over a political marriage:‑O Might be married to the great and powerful wizard Martin Cooper, the Inventor of Cooper's Bent Lightning:‑D Could be his henchwoman, and go on epic adventures with him\o/"

Adventurer: "Agree completely. Adventuring as companion of high-level spellcaster is lifetime dream. More loot, more fun, better stories, better experience."

Doctor: "Agree completely. Martin's alchemical and arcane expertise would be invaluable for transgoblinist goals."

Anthropologist: "Agree completely. Martin's idea of marriage likely suits personality much better than goblin marriage norms. And would learn much about many things, and meet many interesting people, from traveling in Martin's circles."

Socialite: "Agree completely. Would become center of attention, gain much status. And Martin is potentially a person who could connect with and understand on a deep level."

Logic: "Agree completely. Low chance of success, but very high expected payoff and low opportunity cost of making an attempt."

Ego: "Doing this."

Adventurer: "Check mission description so can rebalance loadout appropriately."

Scan letter.

"The mission is to explore wildspace islands to find and harvest samples of hypoallergenic wildspace turnips. Preliminary scouting and ecological calculations indicate that suitable islands may be found at the following coordinates:"

Adventurer: "LOL WTF?"

Alchemist: "Martin obviously needs new ingredients for his multispecies meeting-place restaurant, to improve the quality of its cuisine. Things that anybody from any species will find palatable, or at least will not poison them. Got this."

Suddenly busy day. Break leases on apartment and lab space. Sell nonportable equipment. Rearrange remainder into ship-portable alchemy lab. Purchase reference books, supplies, and reagents for allergen and nutrient content analysis.

Follow letter's instructions to self-organize. How?

Logic: "Schelling point."

Adventurer: "Ra fal, as highest level adventurer."

Logic: "Does she have a permanent address that would be known to all letter recipients?"

Adventurer: "No, she moves all over, leaves confidential itinerary with post office to forward everything."

Anthropologist. "Boomport. Known by all to be goblin shipyards and spaceport, and home to League Space Command."

Adventurer: "The gnomish shipyards at Hazrad are known for making solid adventuring ships."

Engineer: "Goblin ships are higher-performance, preferred by skilled crews. The main advantages of gnome ships are cost, ruggedness, and being foolproof."

Anthropologist: "This fact would be widely known among adventurers, and few people self-identify as low-skilled."

Logic: "Two letter recipients have obviously goblin names, making goblin ship the focal point."

Socialite: "And Boomport is the home of Martin's restaurant. The happening place for meeting and making deals."

Logic: "That settles it. Shelling-point location is Boomport, Golden Mean Restaurant. Time?

Adventurer: "Standard practice for gathering is to post name on inn's message board when get in town, then check each night for other posted names. Meet for breakfast day after see all names.

Anthropologist: "Surely the Golden Mean has an appropriate message board or system. Use that.

Ego: "Have plan. Take next coach to Boomport. Get moving."

Next (Ra fal)
Next Gladys